Divorced and dating blog
I have a memory of walking down the street with my mother, around the age of five, thinking about a conversation I’d had with some other children in the schoolyard a few days earlier.One of them had asked, “Who do you like more, your mom or your dad?The parents worked hard, were highly organized, and dispatched instructions and discipline to her as a matter of course.She told me in private therapy that she was convinced her mother didn’t like her.
You might feel the urge to sit down with them and discuss your concerns, but in many cases, this may not be all that helpful.Children are often not aware of all the reasons behind their behavior, and it can be difficult for them to articulate even those reasons they are aware of.I find the best way to handle the situation is to take a position of friendliness. As a parent, your job is to provide your child with love, stable routines, and discipline. Just as spoiling your child may send a message that you do not care, the other extreme is equally nonconstructive.In fact, being more mindful of feelings of warmth and love may provide stress relief and serve as a welcome break from crossing off items on a long to-do list.Connecting with our loved ones is one of the joys of life, after all. Don’t “compensate” for this rough time by spoiling your child.
Here are some tips to help you create the best set of circumstances for your children when you begin dating after a divorce or breakup. Let children know, frequently, how important they are and how much you love them.